Vice Versa
by forthrightly
Summary: They started their little game to annoy Tamaki, but before the Hitachiin twins realized what was happening, their sly tricks turned into something more serious. Kaoru loses his head, Hikaru loses his heart… and vice versa. Hikaoruhi.
1. Playing to the Crowd

**Disclaimer:** I do hereby disclaim all rights and responsibilities for the characters in this new excuse for mischief… especially for the one who is singularly unmoved by the twins' antics. A curtsy is dropped to Bisco Hatori in grateful recognition of her creative escapades.

**Author's Note:** This story will be told through a loosely-connected series of drabbles and oneshots based on the prompts of the Live Journal communities **30 kisses** (where I hold a claim) and **ouran contest** (which holds bi-weekly drabble and oneshot contests). For the record, this _isn't_ twincest… though the boys _do_ have an image to maintain. If you find their act convincing, that just means they're exceptionally good hosts. ::wink::

* * *

**Playing to the Crowd**

"What _happened_, Hikaru? You're _such_ a mess," scolded Kaoru as he straightened his brother's tie. Long, slender fingers curled gently around the knotted silk, lingering until he heard telltale gasps from the trio of young ladies seated at the table just behind him.

"Did you miss me?" Hikaru replied breathlessly, sifting equally long and slender fingers through vibrant red hair, rumpling it further.

"Of course," Kaoru mumbled, coyly dropping his gaze. "How could you think otherwise?" A good host must see to the wishes of his guests, and since Hikaru was late, their customers' patience should be rewarded. At this moment, Kaoru knew the girls were leaning forward, eyes riveted on this touching reunion between brothers.

A warm hand cupped his jaw, lifting his face. Hikaru's golden-brown eyes were soft with tenderness, but Kaoru could see the smile hiding behind that adoring gaze. Laughter was bubbling just beneath the surface, but his twin didn't waver from his well-rehearsed role. "I hurried back to you, Kaoru," Hikaru offered apologetically.

"Oh, Hikaru!" With casual calculation, he bent his knees as Hikaru straightened, playing up the whole 'protective older twin' angle. "I don't know _what_ to do with myself when you're not with me," Kaoru confessed, laying it on a little thicker.

"Maybe I should remind you," Hikaru murmured suggestively. Right on cue, the girls who'd designated them sighed dreamily.

It was almost too easy, this game of insinuation—making it seem that their relationship went far beyond mere fraternity. Plenty of girls clung to fantasies about identical twins, and the Host Club catered to their fascination. It was all an act, but the Hitachiin brothers prided themselves on a flawless performance.

"Not _here_," Kaoru protested. "What will the others think?"

"Who cares? None of them matter half as much to me as you do!" Hikaru declared earnestly.

Their success was thanks in part to the genuine bond underlying all the incestuous trappings. Kaoru really _had_ missed Hikaru; it was extremely rare for them to arrive separately. When his brother had finally dashed in, winded from his rush up the stairs, the first thing Kaoru wanted to do _was_ to touch him. Sure, they played at passion, but the need to reconnect was real enough… and so strong, it was practically instinctual. At least, that's how it was for Kaoru; Hikaru understood, though. His reassurances were overdramatic, but they still soothed away the little worries that had collected while they were apart.

They twined together like a pair of ginger cats, practically purring as they reveled in their own little world. Together, they were indomitable. Together, they were incorrigible. Together, they were indistinguishable… well, _mostly_.

"Um… hey, guys?" Haruhi interrupted.

The twins stopped, slipping out of character as easily as they slipped into it. "What?" they asked in blunt unison.

With a soft _clack_, she placed a tea tray in front of the Hitachiins' guests and began collecting empty cups. "It's nearly time for the rotation; you've been designated by those two for the next hour," she explained calmly, nodding towards a pair of whispering damsels who hovered a discreet distance.

"We knew that," they said together, then pulled apart to stand shoulder-to-shoulder.

The three who sat at the table pouted prettily. "But Hikaru-kun only just arrived!"

"It couldn't be helped," Kaoru said with a shrug. "Sensei held me back after class."

Hikaru's shrug was a mirror image, and he readily accepted the reversal of roles. "I was too distracted with worry for Hikaru to be much of a host." Tears glistened in his eyes as he looked at his brother. "Forgive me?"

"No, no," Kaoru manfully declared, grasping his brother's shoulders and giving him a gentle shake. "You mustn't blame yourself, Kaoru."

"_Hikaru_!"

"_Kaoru_!"

The three girls, who were Hitachiin regulars, swooned happily, and identical glances were traded—a fleeting smugness that celebrated another triumph in the ongoing rebellion that was 'us vs. else'. Then, Haruhi picked up the tray and half-turned to go. Shaking her head, she said, "I don't understand the appeal… or why you guys bothered to swap names."

"What?" exclaimed one of the girls.

Haruhi turned back and smiled faintly. "Don't let them fool you. _He's_ Kaoru, and _he's_ Hikaru… no matter what they say."

"He can tell them apart?" gasped a starry-eyed third year. "Oooh, that's _amazing_!"

Her two friends nodded eagerly. "Haruhi-kun is attuned to them on an intimate level," said an excitable second-year, hands clasped and eyes sparkling in admiration of the newest host's amazing talent. "He can see their very souls!"

"How romantic!" the trio squealed.

"I don't see how that could possibly be romantic," Haruhi muttered, but the protest was ignored.

"I still think we deserve an extension," insisted the first girl, fluttering her lashes in Hikaru's direction.

The wide-eyed second year looked hopefully at the tray-laden host. "Maybe Haruhi-kun could stay, too. Do you have any guests now?"

"Well… no," she reluctantly admitted, taking a cautious step backwards. "Though I do have _other_ duties…"

As Haruhi took another step back, she found her escape route blocked the Host Club's reigning king. "Hello, ladies," Tamaki crooned, giving his golden hair a toss before striking an artistic pose. "Did I hear the faint murmurs of discontent? What can I do to bring happiness to your hearts?" In a trice he was on his knees beside the second-year and gazing up at her with limpid violet eyes. "What is your desire, princess?" he inquired throatily.

As all attention swung towards Tamaki, Kaoru nudged his twin. "She can tell us apart," he whispered, flicking a glance in Haruhi's direction.

"Maybe it's a fluke. I mean… how could she _know_?" Hikaru asked.

His twin shrugged and said, "How do _you_ know."

"Oh… I see," Hikaru replied, looking vaguely unsettled.

Tamaki interrupted then, saying, "Kaoru! Hikaru! You _must_ make amends!"

"For what?" they asked.

"It is your duty as hosts—nay, as _gentlemen_—to see to the happiness of these beautiful guests. I _demand_ that you make their last five minutes _memorable_ ones!"

"How are we supposed to do that?" Hikaru asked.

"I don't know! Use your creativity!" Tamaki ordered, then folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head to one side. "Well… go on! Make Daddy proud!"

_Creativity, huh?_ Kaoru and Hikaru traded a long look, then moved as one.

Haruhi rolled her eyes and tried to get out of range, but this time the twins detained her. They'd circled around behind her, and now, they leaned on her, elbows propped on opposite shoulders. "Umm… guys?" she ventured, looking from one twin to the other with wide, brown eyes.

One of the most fun things about Haruhi was that she was _no fun_. She was far too perceptive when it came to _them_, but she was clueless when it came to herself. They could take advantage of her selective obliviousness and exact a little revenge for all the times she treated them like spoiled children. After all, if you couldn't play _to_ the crowd, you played _with_ them.

Kaoru liberated the tea tray from Haruhi's grasp, and Hikaru led her to the plush velvet loveseat they favored. "Umm… guys, what do you think you're doing?" Haruhi asked suspiciously.

"Making Daddy proud," Hikaru cheerfully replied as he pulled her down beside him.

"Our guests _did_ ask for 'Haruhi-kun' to stay," Kaoru reminded her as he slid into place on her other side.

They'd perfected their act, but it never hurt to mix things up a bit; it kept things interesting. Matching golden-brown eyes met, gleaming in silent understanding before sliding towards Tamaki, whose confidence had slipped considerably with this development. Their 'king' always brought out the best in them. Tamaki's invitation to join the Host Club had been the first of many small changes to the microcosm of their existence, and in their own way, they showed their appreciation… although Tamaki clearly viewed their efforts to include him in their fun as torment. _Toy with Haruhi. Torment Tamaki. What could be nicer?_ Hikaru was obviously of the same mind, for there was a challenging light in his eyes, urging his brother to keep up… or one up.

As the twins pulled Haruhi into a double-sided embrace and rubbed their cheeks against the silky softness of her hair, their guests' eyes widened. "Oh, my, my, _my_," gasped the heretofore unheard-from second-year whose glasses began to fog over.

"Three–" gasped the other second-year, blushing deeply.

"–some," finished the third-year with a squeak before swooning at this shocking display of forbidden love.

Shock them, intrigue them, excite them—the Hitachiins were in their glory. They always could ad lib their way into the hearts of their admirers, but it was even _more_ entertaining to perform for Tamaki's benefit. _Or rather… at his expense_, Kaoru silently amended as he watched their club president's jaw drop in horrified disbelief.

"Mmmmmm, Haruhi," Hikaru purred, nuzzling closer.

"_Our_ Haruhi," Kaoru declared, giving his brother a melting smile over the top of her head.

The only one _un_affected by their invasion of Haruhi's personal space was—somewhat surprisingly—Haruhi herself. If anything, she endured all their pressing and petting with a martyr's resignation. _Yes, that's it; her expression definitely screams 'kill me now'_, Kaoru decided with inner glee. _I'll have to remember to tell Hikaru later; he'll laugh his ass off at that one._

"What are you scoundrels doing to my darling Haruhi?" Tamaki imperiously demanded, then raised his voice even higher. "Mother! _Mother_! The twins are molesting poor Haruhi! Make them stop!"

In response to Tamaki's wail, Hikaru patted Haruhi's head, mussing her hair, then went so far as to place a chaste kiss on her temple. Not to be outdone, Kaoru pressed a kiss to the same spot on the opposite side. The young woman seemed startled by this turn of events, but after giving them each a shrewd look, she shook her head in exasperation. "Are you done messing around?" she asked flatly.

"You called… _Daddy_?" Kyoya asked with dry amusement as he strolled over.

Tamaki's usual dramatics had skewed into histrionics. "Look at those scoundrels! They're taking _liberties_!"

"We're _only_ doing…" began Hikaru with a slyly innocent smile as he draped his arm around Haruhi's shoulder.

"…what Tamaki _wanted_," finished Kaoru, resting his cheek atop Haruhi's head.

"He… hey… they… huh… _guh_!" Tamaki sputtered. The twins were really rather proud of themselves for reducing their 'king' to inarticulate jibbering.

"Hmm," replied the Host Club's second-in-command before glancing down at his notebook. "Be that as it may, it's time to make a switch," Kyoya announced with casual authority. "Haruhi, I suggest you take care of that tray of tea things now. Kaoru, Hikaru, your next guests are waiting. Tamaki, we have a newcomer. Perhaps you could make her feel welcome? You're so good with first-timers."

Tamaki's drooping spirits instantly soared, and he straightened, giving his golden hair an expert flick. With his usual sparkle firmly back in place, he strode purposefully towards a bashful-looking young lady who lingered just inside the doors, and Haruhi snatched up her tray and excused herself. The twins watched them go with uncannily alert stares. "An interesting reaction," Hikaru remarked in a low voice.

"Shall we exploit it?" Kaoru asked conversationally.

"That might be fun… but _how_?"

"A game—no, a competition!" the younger twin proposed, nodding significantly towards Haruhi's retreating figure.

"Do we issue a challenge?" asked Hikaru.

"No need," Kaoru smiled. "In fact, it'll be more interesting if he _doesn't_ know what's going on."

"I'd be careful if I were you," remarked Kyoya, whose presence had been largely forgotten. Intelligent eyes flashed calculatingly behind the lenses of his glasses. "There are often unforeseen consequences to plans of this nature."

Hikaru folded his arms defensively. "What do you care?"

Kyoya's tight little smile was chilling. "Oh, I _don't_… so long as this little challenge of yours doesn't affect the Host Club's regularly scheduled activities."

With a roll of his eyes, Hikaru waved off the thinly veiled threat. "We're just going to have a little fun with Tamaki."

"Will _Haruhi_ think it's fun?" Kyoya smoothly inquired.

Kaoru shrugged. "Haruhi has too much of the commoner's 'common sense' to take us seriously."

"_But_... if we continue to lavish her with attention, it'll drive Tamaki crazy," Hikaru beamed.

"Hmm," Kyoya murmured distractedly. "Do as you like, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Thanks, _Mom_," the twins said in saucy unison.

The dark-haired 'shadow king' beckoned to the two young women who'd been waiting so patiently, and Kaoru and Hikaru reluctantly set aside their plotting to welcome their guests. _First things must come first_, Kaoru mused, _especially when you're pinned under Kyoya's watchful gaze._ While Hikaru pulled out chairs, Kaoru procured a fresh pot of tea and a plate of cakes.

Polite conversation soon gave way to giddy gossip. "Did you _really_ kiss Haruhi-kun?" asked a beribboned first-year.

"That's so… _naughty_!" whispered her friend, though there was an approving shine in her eyes.

"Do you think so?" Kaoru asked.

"Haruhi didn't seem to mind," Hikaru smirked.

"It was a _very_ shocking thing to do!" the second girl assured the twins. "Even Tamaki-sempai was agog!"

"Aghast!" chimed in the first girl, placing her hand over her heart.

For several moments, Kaoru pondered the mysteries of girls who only spoke in exclamation points. _These girls are so damned __excitable__ compared to Haruhi._ However, his line of thought was interrupted when Hikaru straightened with a muffled exclamation.

The older twin leapt to his feet and hurried around to stand behind his brother's chair. Settling his arms around his brother's shoulders in a loose embrace, he whispered, "I _know_!" into his brother's ear. "I have the _perfect_ plan!"

Kaoru smiled softly and reached up to pat his brother's cheek, shyly protesting, "Hikaru, you're embarrassing me! Not _here_!" With the ease of long practice, they slipped back into their 'brotherly love' routine, both of them looking forward to finding Tamaki's last nerve… and dancing on it.

* * *

**End Note:** This oneshot was written for the Live Journal community ouran(underscore)contest and their prompt for Challenge #22—Last. In addition, 'Playing to the Crowd' fulfills part of my claim at the Live Journal community 30(underscore)kisses—Theme #08, Our Own World. Posted on February 14, 2009—Happy Valentine's Day! 2,335 words.


	2. The Cinderella Treatment

**Disclaimer:** I do hereby disclaim all rights and responsibilities for the characters in this weekend excursion… especially for the one who probably called ahead. A curtsy is dropped to Bisco Hatori in grateful recognition of her creative escapades.

* * *

**The Cinderella Treatment**

Haruhi regretted answering Tamaki when he asked about her weekend plans. _I never should have told him I needed new shoes._ She was at the breakfast table when there was a knock at their apartment door, and before she could protest, Kaoru and Hikaru each had her by an arm. Ranka waved encouragingly as his dumbstruck daughter disappeared into the waiting Rolls Royce.

Haruhi was wedged between the twins, who discussed the shops on their itinerary, and Tamaki sat across, sending puppy-eyed looks that she chose to ignore. "Why are _you_ here, sempai?" she asked Kyoya.

"I thought it would be… instructive," he replied vaguely.

By midmorning, their quest for the perfect shoe devolved into a full-scale competition—twins versus Tamaki. They dragged Haruhi into yet another very small, very exclusive boutique. "Is this the _price_?" she whispered to Kaoru, in the throes of sticker shock.

"Yep," he replied with the careless shrug of someone who rarely considered the cost.

"Try these, Haruhi!" Hikaru urged, dangling an unbelievably flimsy pair of red sandals in front of the girl. He knelt and removed her plain loafers, playfully running his thumb along her instep. "Aren't you ticklish?" he pouted when she didn't even twitch.

"No, not really."

"How boring," he sighed, but after a sidelong glance in Tamaki's direction, he dropped a kiss onto her toe. When 'milord' sputtered indignantly, Hikaru smirked in triumph.

_What are they up to_? Haruhi wondered. The twins were definitely giving her the Cinderella treatment, but though they were fawning over her, she _wasn't_ the one they were interested in. They weren't wooing a princess; they were taunting their prince. Haruhi sent a pleading look in Kyoya's direction, hoping he'd had enough 'instruction' for one day. The last place she wanted to be was in the middle.

* * *

**End Note:** This drabble was written for the Live Journal community ouran(underscore)contest and their prompt for Challenge #23—Unbelievable. In addition, 'The Cinderella Treatment' fulfills part of my claim at the Live Journal community 30(underscore)kisses—Theme #19, Red. Posted on March 2, 2009. 300 words.


	3. Self Fulfilling Prophecy

**Disclaimer:** I do hereby disclaim all rights and responsibilities for the characters in this new excuse for mischief… especially for the prophetic one. A curtsy is dropped to Bisco Hatori in grateful recognition of her creative escapades.

* * *

**Self-Fulfilling Prophecy**

Haruhi slipped through the doors without drawing attention to herself; the music room was already abuzz, with most of the customers clustered around the loveseat where Tamaki did much of his entertaining. Most of the hosts hovered around their golden-haired leader, peering over his shoulder with varying degrees of interest. _I wonder what happened._ Excitable young women flew back and forth, chatting animatedly as they compared notes; most of them carried copies of what looked like a newspaper tabloid. _Is __that__ what has them keyed up?_ Only Kyoya held himself apart from the pervasive din, and she sidled over to the Host Club's second-in-command, hoping for some answers.

"Good afternoon, Haruhi," he greeted politely. "You're nearly two minutes late, today… though under the circumstances, I suppose it's forgivable."

"What's going on, Sempai?" she asked, skirting the matter of her tardiness.

"The newspaper club released a special edition of the school newspaper this afternoon," Kyoya replied.

His tone was so neutral, Haruhi couldn't tell if this was a good thing… or a bad thing. "Is it more gossip?" she ventured. "I thought Komatsuzawa-sempai agreed not to publish any more rumors."

"No, nothing like that this time." Turning slightly, he plucked a neatly folded newspaper from the table behind him and placed it in her hands. The garish headline read, _'Your Stars Have Aligned! Find Out What's in Store!'_

Haruhi scanned the first few columns. "They're horoscopes?"

"Yes, one for every day of the year," he confirmed. "This is the latest school-wide fad, and as you can see, the Host Club is not immune."

She hummed as she idly flipped the pages, then stopped. "Why is this one circled?" she inquired.

Kyoya smiled thinly. "That is _my_ horoscope; Tamaki was good enough to bring it to my attention."

Mystified, Haruhi read the entry.

* * *

_**November 22**__**  
**__Today is not a day for rash behavior; stick to your comfort zone.  
__Notice the subtleties of everyone around you today and file it away  
for future use. Remain calm. Protect your assets. Keep an open mind.  
Pave the way for romance, or it will catch you unawares. _

* * *

She lifted thoughtful brown eyes to Kyoya's and said, "It doesn't really say anything useful. You'd do all of this anyhow… right, Sempai?"

"Hmm."

Frowning, Haruhi added, "This horoscope is almost tailor-made for you."

He adjusted his glasses and said, "Except for the line about romance, I'd have to agree."

"I don't think it's wrong, Kyoya-sempai; you plan for _everything_, don't you?" she asked, amusement sparkling in her eyes. "You probably already have that part of your future scheduled, but even you aren't immune to love."

"_Even_ me?" he echoed.

"Sure," she replied with characteristic bluntness. "Maybe the stars have aligned in such a way that you'll fall for someone… inconvenient, and that's why you'll need to keep an open mind."

The shadow king's eyes narrowed, but his protest was cut off by Tamaki's querulous tones. "Kyoya! Kyoya! Tell me you've _seen_ this! It's _most_ intriguing! Oh, Haruhi! You're here!" The Host Club's president snapped his fingers insistently. "Come! You must tell us your birth date!"

The twins were at her sides in a trice. "His lordship doesn't know your birthday?" Kaoru asked in horrified tones.

"What kind of father _is_ he?" Hikaru added, sounding properly shocked. "_We_ know the natal day!"

"Yes, we do!" Kaoru agreed smugly.

They hauled Haruhi across the room and presented her to Tamaki, who sat with his elbows on his knees as he poured over the newspaper spread upon the coffee table. Wide purple eyes eagerly darted from one twin to the other. "Well? Well? Out with it! This is _important_!"

"Sempai, it's really not impor–" Haruhi weakly protested.

"Nonsense! Listen to this!" he interrupted, urgently stabbing his reading material with a finger.

* * *

_**April 8  
**__You love much and are much loved, but the perfect flower  
__will always bloom just out of reach. Duplicitous friends make  
ready rivals. Brace yourself for many disappointments.  
Console yourself with gardenias. Beware of kittens. _

* * *

"That is my horoscope! _Mine_!" Tamaki exclaimed. "This is unthinkable!"

"Why kittens?" Haruhi murmured, ignoring the borderline hysterics.

"I­… I… I _must_ have gardenias!" At the blond king's pleading look, Kyoya whisked out his cell phone and punched in the number for a florist.

"What good will gardenias do?" muttered Haruhi.

Hikaru, who'd remained at her side tossed up his hands in a helpless gesture. "You know how superstitious his lordship can be. Maybe they'll make him feel better."

"So how about it, Haruhi," chimed in Kaoru. "Are you ready to see your horoscope?"

One of the yellow-clad girls in the crowd clasped her hands together. "Yes! When's _your_ birthday, Haruhi?"

"Umm… February 4."

"Oooh! The first day of spring! How appropriate!" cooed one of Haruhi's admirers.

With a hasty rustling of newsprint, Tamaki found the appropriate section and scanned the prediction. Blanching slightly, he read it aloud.

* * *

_**February 4  
**__Actions speak louder than words, but only if you hear them.  
Reconcile yourself to irreconcilable differences with those  
who are no match for you; however, love is closer than you might think.  
Another's heart beats for you in secret. Listen carefully. _

* * *

"Oh, he has a secret admirer!" squealed one of the girls.

"How romantic!" sighed another guest, setting off a clamor of speculation from her neighbors. "Who could it be? Do _you_ have any ideas? It says someone _close_! Could it be someone _here_?" Excited giggles made it difficult to hear what anyone was saying.

"I still think it should've said that the way to Haruhi's heart is through her stomach," grumbled Hikaru, earning a poke in the ribs from his brother.

Tamaki stood to his full height, the color rising in his face. "What could this _mean_? It's so mysterious!"

Haruhi's brows drew together. "It's more straightforward than kittens and gardenias."

"Reconciling the irreconcilable?" ranted the blond as he began to pace.

"He's in denial," Kaoru commented dryly.

"Definitely no match for us," quipped Hikaru.

_Wait just a minute…_ Haruhi straightened, thinking fast. "You know… you spelled 'irreconcilable' wrong, Kaoru," she remarked, tilting her paper for him to see.

"No I didn't!" he protested, snatching the paper and quickly scanning her horoscope for mistakes. He froze guiltily when Hikaru groaned.

"Thought so," Haruhi smiled.

"Indeed," Kyoya agreed, suddenly appearing behind Haruhi's shoulder. "Your horoscope also has a suspiciously 'tailor-made' quality."

"Really?" she replied blankly. "I'd think it could apply to just about anyone."

"Hmm," Kyoya responded. "In any case, I wonder what the 'stars' have predicted for our two Geminis?"

Hikaru shrugged. "It's nothing special…"

"Wait!" Kaoru interrupted. "Look… it's different!"

Two red heads bent together over the newspaper to read.

* * *

_**June 9  
**__You're only a step ahead of the ones behind you, so don't waste time  
__watching your back. Open your eyes to what's right in front of you.  
Two heads may be better than one, but two hearts of one mind  
can spell disaster. Beware self-fulfilling prophecies. _

* * *

The twins gaped at Kyoya. "You changed it!" Hikaru accused as Haruhi reclaimed the paper to see what it said.

"How?" Kaoru demanded.

Kyoya shrugged nonchalantly. "Since last spring, Komatsuzawa-kun has permitted me to serve as the newspaper club's unofficial fact-checker… just to ensure the complete veracity of their articles." The Hitachiins exchanged a knowing glance, and Kyoya continued. "It was not difficult to discern the pattern in the new special edition. All of the hosts received customized horoscopes. Determining the source of these predictions took even less time." His coolly superior denouement was interrupted by a soft gasp from Haruhi.

"Does our future shock you?" Hikaru inquired, draping his arm over Haruhi's shoulder as he tried to see what had caught her eye.

Kaoru followed suit on the other side, asking, "Have you unraveled Kyoya's phony prophecy?"

"No… _today's_ horoscope…" she mumbled. "Which one of you…"

Ah, yes," Kyoya drawled. "I've been meaning to ask you two about that…"

Before he could elaborate, a howl of dismay rang out, and Tamaki streaked across the room in a flurry of scattering newspaper. "Beware of kittens!"

Craning her neck, Haruhi looked in the direction from which he'd come. "What's Nekozawa-sempai doing here?"

* * *

A couple hours later, the last of the customers excused themselves, and Haruhi—the Host Club's dog—was left to clean up in relative peace. It was taking longer than usual to put the music room back to rights, even though the twins were 'helping'. Kaoru stood in the middle of the room leaning on his broom and pointing out stray bits of newspaper that Haruhi had missed, and Hikaru's main contribution was to mutter, "Beware of kittens," every so often and snicker to himself.

Kyoya lingered as well, tapping away quietly on his laptop. As the dinner hour approached, he raised his voice to ask, "Did you have plans this evening, Haruhi?"

His question startled her from her thoughts. "What?" she responded, pausing in the process of fishing out a crumpled tabloid from under one of the loveseats. When her brain caught up, she replied, "Oh… yes. I'm meeting Dad at the front gate when he gets off work. But, you probably _knew_ that… right, Kyoya-sempai?"

"Hmm. Ranka _did_ mention something to that effect."

Haruhi suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. _If he already knows, then why ask?_

"What time does Ranka finish up?" Hikaru asked.

"Normally, he works until closing on Fridays, but Dad is off early tonight," Haruhi explained.

"Is today… special?" Kaoru inquired casually.

Haruhi picked up the last of the newspapers and straightened the pile she'd collected. "Yes… but you guys knew that, too… didn't you?"

Just then, there was a sharp rap on the door, and a man opened it and poked his head in. "I've got a delivery of flowers for one Haruhi Fujioka. Is this the right place?"

"Yes," Kyoya smoothly replied, moving to accept an enormous arrangement of gardenias and tipping the courier before sending him on his way.

"Console yourself with gardenias," he recited as he placed the flowers in Haruhi's hands.

"For _me_? These were Tamaki-sempai's…"

"Oh, I think they were intended for you all along… in a roundabout way."

The young woman closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet scent that was quickly filling the room. "I really can't afford this kind of…"

"Don't worry," Kyoya smoothly interrupted. Nodding towards the twins, he added, "I'm billing those two, since this was their scheme."

The Hitachiins stood shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the room wearing awkward expressions. "I don't know what you're talking about," insisted Kaoru.

"We were just messing with his lordship," Hikaru stubbornly declared.

"Coincidence," Kaoru shrugged.

"Just a crazy fluke," Hikaru agreed.

"You _did_ plan this, but how did you know?" Haruhi asked, surprised that the famously self-centered twins would make such a gesture.

A decorous tap at the door saved the twins from answering, and to everyone's surprise, Haruhi's father swept into the room in a swirl of navy silk. "You're looking quite elegant this evening, Ranka," Kyoya greeted, crossing the room to welcome their guest properly.

The cross-dresser received two thumbs up from the twins as well, and he flashed them a dazzling smile. Then, Ranka's eyes lit on his daughter and the extravagant bouquet in her arms. "Oh, gardenias!" He was at her side in a moment and took a deep breath of their fragrance. With misty eyes and a voice grown husky, he murmured. "How appropriate; these were always Kotoko's favorite! Remember, Haruhi?"

"Yeah," she replied, giving her father a soft smile. "They smell like her."

Turning towards the twins, Ranka explained, "Today is my wife's—Haruhi's mother's—birthday."

"I think they already knew that," Haruhi opined, giving the two redheads a long look. "Did _you_ tell them, Dad?"

Ranka placed a manicured nail against his chin and looked towards the ceiling. "I'm sure I mentioned it to Kyoya-kun, but I rarely speak with Kaoru-kun and Hikaru-kun… which _really_ is a pity. Did you order gardenias for Kotoko, Kyoya-kun?"

"I was aware of the preference, but _those two_ are responsible for turning the club room into a bower," he replied, radiating displeasure.

Ranka hummed thoughtfully and stroked a soft, white flower petal. "Is that so? But how did you boys find out about my wife's love for gardenias?"

"Research," Hikaru grinned. The twins had drifted across the room and were now perched on the table where Kyoya's belongings were spread.

"You really _do_ need to protect your assets more carefully, Kyoya-sempai," taunted Kaoru as he pointed significantly towards the object his brother cheerfully waved.

A highly unamused Kyoya stalked over and whisked his black notebook out of Hikaru's hand. "Indeed."

"Haruhi, tell your poor father what's going on," Ranka sighed, affecting a pout. Haruhi plucked a paper from her collected pile and passed it to him, wordlessly pointing towards the day's horoscope. With a pleased cry, Ranka swooped in on the twins, pulling them into a tight embrace and planting noisy kisses on each of their cheeks. Once he'd thoroughly embarrassed them—and Haruhi—he exclaimed, "You _must_ join us… _all_ of you! We're going to visit Kotoko's grave and then find some dinner."

The twins exchanged a speaking glance but waited for Kyoya to take the lead. "We would be _pleased_ to escort you this evening, Ranka," the black-haired host announced with a glint in his eye. "I'll call Tachibana and have him bring the car around. Kaoru, Hikaru, you round up the others."

"Sure," Kaoru quickly agreed.

"Whatever," Hikaru said, a fraction of a second later.

Haruhi covered a smile when the two exchanged surprised glances. _They aren't often out of sync._

Before the Hitachiins could leave, Ranka firmly gripped their shoulders, squeezing with unmistakably masculine strength. Dropping his feminine façade for a moment, he murmured, "Kaoru-kun, Hikaru-kun… I had no idea you _cared_." With a soft smile, he added a low, "Thanks," before thumping them both on the back and pushing them towards the doors.

* * *

_**Today  
**__Even the commonest of common things becomes rare  
when it is precious to someone. Do not underestimate your influence,  
for it transcends every obstacle, shaping the future. Rest easy  
in the knowledge that those you hold dearest are held dearly.  
Expect great things. Accept new things. Smile. _

* * *

**End Note:** This oneshot was written for the Live Journal community ouran(underscore)contest and their prompt for Oneshot Challenge #22—Horoscope. In addition, 'Self-Fulfilling Prophecy' fulfills part of my claim at the Live Journal community 30(underscore)kisses—Theme #11, Gardenia. Posted on March 29, 2009. 2,376 words.


End file.
